Archive for the ‘Ruts Plays’ Category

Mount and Blade Today!

25 Feb

Noon, PST, usual place. Be there or be somewhere much less emotionally satisfying.


Mount and Blade: The Trivial Contest

17 Feb

This week’s Mount and Blade stream is moved–provisionally to Wednesday–due to workload issues.

As some of you witnessed last week (battle begins around 22:30), petty nob and bungling warlord Cahmel the Bloodless paused his never-ending campaign of getting his ass kicked to win a battle against some looters. Specifically, five desperate and starving men armed with rocks and clubs against me, a nominally trained warrior with armor and weaponry. Needless to say, this is a victory worthy of song and legend.

Cahmel would gladly provide both–but he lost his ink and quill the last time he got mugged by poachers. So it’s down to you people.

By March 4th, create some sort of commemoration of Cahmel’s epic victory against five vagrants. This could be a drawing, a poem, a song, an act of arson*, an extensive and experimental surgical procedure**, or something a little more bizarre and esoteric.  Submit your entry in the comments or send it over to, and I’ll judge a winner.

The prize? Every companion I get in the game will be named after you in some capacity. The first one will have whatever name you provide. After that, I’ll get creative.

Alright, people, get to it.

*Cannot be an act of arson.

**Especially one involving brain-controlled robotic limbs.


Spoiler Warning

29 Jan

For those of you who haven’t been keeping up with Spoiler Warning, the show turned one year old the other day. To celebrate, we played through an hour of Amnesia: The Dark descent and trimmed it down to the snappiest bits.

I link this for two reasons: firstly, you need no prior Spoiler Warning experience to enjoy it, so if you’ve never seen the show, there’s still something here to entertain you. Secondly, I drop in one of the more elaborate puns I’ve had on this or the other site. You’ve been warned.

JaR is recorded and covered, and should be coming quite soon. As for the rest, a general, “actually am legitimately working on it.”



05 Jan

Another goddamned video series, what the hell am I playing at?

It helps that X-COM is looking pretty straightforward to do, and that Jibar does all the heavy lifting for JaR, which does give me some time to do a series that requires a little more editing. Enter Hitmanic, in which I play Hitman like a hamhanded buffoon and provide narration.

Short description of this show: I play the Hitman series, in which one plays an ice-cold and sophisticated European assassin, as a high strung culturally ignorant American who can’t quite shoot straight.

This is sort of a proof-of-concept episode. There’s no game audio because of a driver issue I’m still working on, but honestly, I’d probably just as soon leave that out. I’m definitely thinking of throwing a soundtrack in there, though, something classical or jazzy–above all, unobtrusive. This episode was also recorded fairly quickly, without quite enough natural breaks for thought, which is something I plan on correcting in the future. Besides that, the lines are all ad-libbed–I’m going to experiment with different scripting ideas as the show progresses.

The idea for this series came while playing Hitman: Blood Money, a game which I was worryingly fond of. I played it as a stealthy, kill-only-the-target, don’t-get-seen invisible badass–a playstyle I plan to adopt, in part, in this series–but it was still pretty hilarious to watch. I kept imagining conversations like this:

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Mine On You Crazy Diamond

21 Oct

We figured out a good format to convert the video to, and we’re pretty sure we’ve got a good way to actually do so. So, there’s a good chance the promised update *will* lauch today, albeit just a bit later. Either way, for filler, here’s my most recent Minecraftery.

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Also New LP

04 Sep

That’s a new episode of an existing LP, not a new LP altogether…although at this point, I don’t know which I’m coming out with more of.

EDIT: I uploaded the wrong video. I had to retake a couple scenes because the game kept crashing and I didn’t want to roll out the Irish Rovers again…sorry, I’ll get a fixed version up later.


And Another One

27 Aug



Ruts Plays Once Again

26 Aug

New episode’s in the can. Mic’s a shade quiet, I mispronounced Margolotta, said magic when I meant melee, and accidentally wore live cats instead of underwear while filming this episode. Hopefully, you can look past these mistakes and focus on how much worse I’ve gotten at playing this game.


Ruts Plays 8

01 Aug

Every time I get the mic working fine in test, I accidentally budge it into the mystical land of Constant Ear-Blasting Air Gusts. It gets a little better as the video wears on, but sorry, the sound here’s not the greatest. I was this close to just throwing it out and starting over, but audio aside, I kind of like how this episode turned out, so here you go. Like the last one, this one’s a bit on the longer side.


Ruts Plays Dark Messiah

22 Jul


This one’s a little longer to catch up, and because  I had trouble getting to a good stopping point. Enjoy.

Repost of description:

Yeah, I’m really not sure what I’m looking at for that bit at the beginning, so I took the X-COM approach and just neutralized it on sight. Part of me is skeptical that they’d a.) stick naughty bits on the demon while covering up the chest and b.) manage to slide that by the ESRB, but I ain’t taking any chances. If you’re really curious, you can probably find that cutscene on YouTube.

Also, the SILI (Shoehorned In Love Interest) demonstrates two things in this episode: 1.) she has not-inconsiderable combat ability, and 2.) she ain’t going to actually use any of it when it matters.

EDIT: Minor question–anybody else end up picking this game up? Might be interesting to host a multiplayer session at some point.