Archive for December, 2012

On Inconvenient Lizards: The Redemption of Cahmel (Part 13, The Return)

30 Dec

When we last left our noble hero, she was standing boldly above a sea of miscreants and fools, incompetents and crooks, the unwashed masses who…hang on. No, okay, I think I got it all out with the last heave. It turns out the only thing more nauseating than Nord culture is Nord booze, which is a pity, because now I’m going to have to find another way to tolerate Nord culture.

So my little vacation to Riften didn’t turn out so good. I got hit on by thieves, hit by thieves, stole some trinkets, carved my way through a city’s worth of disease-ridden transients,  drank things that man was never meant to brew, and beat the beards off a couple obnoxious locals. Now I’m a little bit richer and a lot more bitter, which has been my trajectory ever since I crossed the border.

I think it’s time to get myself a job.

On my way back to Whiterun, I scribble up a list of all the careers I’ve seen or heard of in Skyrim. After fifteen minutes, it occurs to me that it might be a longer list if I include all the jobs that don’t involve killing people. After thirty minutes, this is proven incorrect.

Apparently there’s some kind of guild for violence in this territory called the Companions, or something? You’d think that’d pique my interest, but frankly, I’m a little iffy. The name carries the strong implication that I will be acting as a companion. That I will be, in other words, responsible for ensuring the safety of another human being at some point. I don’t want to take a job babysitting people with the critical thinking and survival skills of crotch fungus, and if they grow another kind of person out here, then they’ve been staying far away from me.

Actually, I guess that kind of makes sense. Fine. We’ll put this one as a “maybe.”

Apparently there’s also some sort of wizardry school? I’d actually be pretty down with that. I’m all about expanding my toolbox with a suite of nonphysical applications vis a vis breaking and entering, homicide, larceny, dominating the wills of others. Apparently that’s pretty much what wizards do all day.

And then there’s the Thieves’ Guild. Wasn’t impressed, but at least now I know I can take all of them in a fight if I have to. And I probably will.

Someone told me there’s a guild just for assassinating people. If that’s true, I guess I could do that. I’m not exactly subtle, but I’m sure that wouldn’t ever be a problem.

Yeah, I’m not feeling any of these particularly strongly. Guess I’ll just bum around a bit until I’m forced to make a decision. Another storied family tradition. I hate this family.

Announcing the random guild drawing! Post your vote for which guild Cahmel should join below, along with a brief argument for why. A winner will be selected, and will make a brief appearance as a character who will convince Cahmel to take that path. Votes go below!


And We’re Back

30 Dec

Aunty Paladin was a rollicking success this year, as was Hobospy…so far. Now that I’ve got that project out the gate, and some others reaching resting states, it’s time to focus on my other true passion: freelance pro-bono street trepanation. Which, conveniently, leaves room in my schedule open for writing blog posts on the internet.

New Years will bring an updated posting schedule, but there’ll be a new Cahmel up tonight, some streams scheduled down the road, and a lead on Mary Sue’s development as soon as I get some art in. Dead Salesman Games is still very much in the soft-open stages–I’m not going to worry about advertising or marketing it until I’ve got a semi-permanent website, for example.

A question for the nonce: once I restart streaming, which would you all prefer to see: XCOM? Mount and Blade: Warband? Fallout: New Vegas? Train Simulator 2003? Not that last one, anything but that last one? Contribute your points below.


Hobospy Has Launched

14 Dec

It’s finally here. A more involved post might come later. For now, just know that you can buy it here.



Hobospy is Finished, Will Be Released in Days; Oh Yeah, Aunty Paladin

11 Dec

First exciting thing: Hobospy is completely finished. Like, completely. I could upload a pdf right now if I wanted to. The only thing left to do is figure out the best way to sell the file online, which I’m looking into as much as I can while keeping up with finals.

Second exciting thing: Aunty Paladin, the awesome 24-hour RPG marathon I run with my awesome gaming buddies, is launching next Monday (December 16th).

Here, let me say that again in press release mode:

Last year was the birthing pains–weird tech, awkward setup, a few very poor game choices–and it was still goddamned awesome. Now we’ve got our act together, and we’re ready to take this baby out on the open road.

After twelve months of recovery, we’re back, and we’re ready to undergo another week of misery…for the children! It’s time for more game-playing, kid-saving, and deep suffering.

To recap how this works: our crew plays pen-and-paper tabletop roleplaying games, on camera, nonstop. For as long as the donations to Child’s Play flow, we’ll keep rolling dice. We’ve got all kinds of special events planned this year, such as:

  • Previews of Hobospy, Mary Sue, and yet-to-be-announced Dead Salesman game products!
  • Audience-participation games of Fiasco!
  • A public, official, Evil Hat-endorsed playtest of the in-development Fate Core system!
  • More creepifying Maid scenarios!
  • More Wolfnord, Troy, Rutskarn, Jin, Sam, Kiltbeard, and Nick!
  • We’ve still got that wooden spoon!
  • Internet cameos!

We’ve had twelve months to make this event even better than last year, so gear up, put on some coffee for us, and enjoy the show.

Aunty Paladin begins Monday, December 17th, at 9:00 AM PST.