{"id":1405,"date":"2009-11-23T00:19:22","date_gmt":"2009-11-23T08:19:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chocolatehammer.org\/?p=1405"},"modified":"2026-06-15T17:07:24","modified_gmt":"2026-06-16T01:07:24","slug":"in-a-hostile-country-the-saga-of-cahmel-lets-play-morrowind-part-23","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.chocolatehammer.org\/?p=1405","title":{"rendered":"In a Hostile Country: The Saga of Cahmel (Let’s Play Morrowind, Part 23)"},"content":{"rendered":"

When we last left our hero, he\u2019d finally given his moron employer the shaft. Finally, for the first time in like 5 quests, I\u2019d be taking my orders from someone who didn<\/em>\u2019t make me want to beat him to death with a bit of scrib jerky.<\/p>\n

Right, so, who am I reporting too now? I guess since that guy\u2019s in jail, I\u2019m going to start doing jobs for his boss. So, that would mean my current questgiver is\u2026<\/p>\n

Oh god.<\/p>\n

I wonder if there are any jerky stands open this late?<\/p>\n

Okay, no, gotta fight through that. Remember, Cammy, this isn\u2019t about your pride or self-respect. This isn\u2019t about giving you a comfortable life, or missions that aren\u2019t intensely creepy. It\u2019s not even about you<\/em>, actually. It\u2019s about a bunch of random strangers armed with a bucket of popcorn and a wagonload of schadenfreude.<\/p>\n

Besides, it occurred to me that I haven\u2019t even gotten my old quest reward back. So, I guess let\u2019s get that part over with.<\/p>\n

Please don’t be clothing, please don’t be clothing…<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

I'm not sure why he's facing backwards in this picture. Actually, I don't want to know. I don't even want to examine exactly WHY I don't want to know.<\/p><\/div>\n

Uh. Thanks a lot, creepy man. Jeez, leave it to this guy to make you want to throw a magic item into a drainage ditch.<\/p>\n

Dare I ask what my next quest is? Let me warn you in advance: if it\u2019s to deliver your \u201cmagic sword\u201d anywhere<\/em>, I\u2019m gonna defect to the goddamn Telvanni.<\/p>\n

Actually, it\u2019s really pretty harmless. Er. Harmless in the sense that it\u2019s not creepy or weird, not harmless in the sense that I\u2019m not going to cause harm to someone or something. I mean, this is <\/em>Hlaalu.<\/p>\n

Apparently, there\u2019s some smugglers or something operating outside of Hla Oad. I\u2019m supposed to find them and \u201cconvince\u201d them to respect House Hlaalu. If they\u2019re not in a respectful mood, I can go ahead and make them respect my sword in their faces. Sounds good. It\u2019s kind of like The Godfather, if instead of Marlon Brando it starred your estranged swinger uncle.<\/p>\n

Getting to Hla Oad isn\u2019t much of a bother\u2014it\u2019s only about 2 miles away, so I can take a boat there. I only have to walk over about 2 and a half miles of Vivec to get to said boat.<\/p>\n

I really want to shake the hand of the guy who designed these walkways. Shake it right off<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Sorry, back on topic. Hla Oad is identical to every other fishing town around: a bunch of houses, puddles, and badly-dressed people wandering around and passive-aggressively accosting strangers. Supposedly, the outlaw named\u2026<\/p>\n

Velfred? Seriously? Wow, okay, give me a second here. Velfred? That\u2019s easily the worst smuggler name I\u2019ve heard in my life. That\u2019s actually so bad it\u2019s kind of awesome. I mean\u2026Velfred? That sounds like what a drugged-out rock star would name their unwanted firstborn. Their unwanted female <\/em>firstborn.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I need to find that guy. Shouldn\u2019t be too hard\u2014I just have to ask for the ugly guy with the stupid name, and he should turn up in a flash.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

I think I spoke too soon.<\/p><\/div>\n

Okay, actually, turns out Velfy ain\u2019t in town. Many villagers know where he\u2019s located, but none of them are willing to say. For, uh, some reason? Oh, I get it. The smugglers have intimidated people into not giving away their location, which (for some reason) is obvious enough that everyone knows where it is. Even, you know, people who have no reason to even want <\/em>to know where it is. So the villagers hush up, and the smugglers are safe from anybody who\u2019s trying to find them. I guess they get their customers through Craigslist?<\/p>\n

Of course, these villagers are no match for Cahmel\u2019s patented social domination techniques. All it takes is a firm tone, eye contact, and a massive bribe to get them to loosen up. Turns out, the smugglers have carefully hidden their craft out on the coastline, in broad daylight, about 100 yards from civilization.<\/p>\n

I set out, and am there. I make sure to prepare my stabbin\u2019 arm, and arrange my potions in order of least to most useful. I get the feeling it\u2019ll take more than a bribe and a handshake to get these smugglers to respect Hlaalu.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Oh. My mistake. That\u2019s actually all it takes.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m starting to see why Hlaalu appreciates my special talents. Specifically, my amazing knack for paying Hlaalu\u2019s bribes out of my own pocket.<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay, though. It\u2019s an unspoken code of businessmen everywhere: when you have to pay for part of a business trip yourself, you take something back with you.<\/p>\n

It just so happens that this is an Ebony smuggling ship.<\/p>\n

4,000 drakes worth of pilfered Ebony later, I stumble back home.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When we last left our hero, he\u2019d finally given his moron employer the shaft. 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