{"id":1417,"date":"2009-11-26T00:12:12","date_gmt":"2009-11-26T08:12:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chocolatehammer.org\/?p=1417"},"modified":"2026-06-15T17:07:24","modified_gmt":"2026-06-16T01:07:24","slug":"in-a-hostile-country-the-saga-of-cahmel-lets-play-morrowind-part-24","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.chocolatehammer.org\/?p=1417","title":{"rendered":"In a Hostile Country: The Saga of Cahmel (Let’s Play Morrowind, Part 24)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Bonus Cahmel’s a bit earlier than I originally planned, but you lot were so quick to read V&B that I figured I’d get it right out. Vatsy and Bruno itself should be coming up here, followed by the next D&D post. <\/em><\/p>\n

When we last left our silver-tongued hero, he\u2019d just came back from a mission of bribery (mandated) and larceny (my own discretion). To my great surprise, my reward of 1000 drakes actually surpassed the sum I had to blow through getting there and doing the quest.<\/p>\n

Bolstered by this unexpected windfall (read: getting paid), I press Uncle Crassy for more assignments. He replies that he has \u201cno more business for someone of your rank.\u201d Oh, that\u2019s right, the whole point of me coming out here was to get promoted. I ask him for a rank up, and hit a bit of a snag.<\/p>\n

See, most factions in Morrowind have two criteria for advancement. First, you have to perform enough duties. You can usually perform these any way you like: you can do almost any Fighter\u2019s Guild quest with magic, and do almost any Mage\u2019s Guild quest with brute force. At some point, the devs realized, \u201cHey, isn\u2019t that kind of stupid? I mean, sure, you\u2019re getting the job done, but nobody\u2019s even checking to make sure you\u2019re doing it right<\/em>? It\u2019s like getting promoted to the CEO of Microsoft because you\u2019re good at firebombing Apple stores.\u201d So they added a second criterion: you must raise one skill germane to the faction to a certain rank, and at least two other related skills to a significantly lower rank.<\/p>\n

To the developers, this solved two issues in one. Firstly, they ensure that any verisimilitude-breaking class\/faction combinations did not ensue. Secondly, they ensure that players are skilled enough to undertake any given mission (there\u2019s no real level scaling in Morrowind, so it\u2019s easy to stumble into a quest that\u2019s way over your head). There\u2019s just one tiny flaw with this system:<\/p>\n

Morrowind has a spectacularly, luminously, gloriously <\/em>broken training system.<\/p>\n

Seriously. Most RPG forums are like libraries of exploitation, combination archives and debate floors where every crack in the game\u2019s balance is analyzed and worried away at until it splits wide open. To the denizens of such forums, Morrowind\u2019s training system is something of a sacred bounty. If you use training\u2014not even abuse <\/em>training, but use it at all<\/em>, even unwittingly\u2014you should know that you are breaking the game. All of it. Forever.<\/p>\n

See, here\u2019s how training works. You go to a trainer. This trainer will have three skills they can teach you, usually only up to a certain (high) point. You pay them a fee, and you get a skill point. You pay them another fee, and you get another skill point. If you get enough skill points to level up, you level up. You are quite literally buying your character\u2019s progression.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Now, sure, there\u2019s a system of diminishing returns where every point purchased is more expensive than the last, but when you consider that Morrowind (like most RPGs) suffers from a broken economy, that\u2019s no real object. I mean, look at me\u2014I\u2019m hemorrhaging bribe money, splurging on transportation, and paying other people\u2019s debts out of my own pocket, and I\u2019ve still <\/em>earned more money incidentally <\/em>than I need for anything, including this. And I\u2019m still buying training appropriate for my level\u2014in the endgame, where you\u2019re fabulously wealthy, you can essentially master any discipline on a whim. In my first Morrowind playthrough, once I became head of the Fighter\u2019s Guild (and absurdly rich), I just bought master training in three schools of magic. Then I joined up with the Mage\u2019s Guild and became Archmage without learning a single spell. It\u2019s like if Sylvester Stallone bought a shady online degree and became the Dean of Harvard.<\/p>\n

I buy 7 ranks of Light Armor before I even bother to check my finances. When they\u2019ve gone dry, I leg it upstairs and hit the pawn shop to sell some of the obscenely valuable items I haven\u2019t gotten around to hocking yet. Then I come back down for some more. By the end of the day, I\u2019d raised my Light Armor skill from 46 (out of a possible 100) to 60, enough advancement to wrangle two promotions.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Not pictured: an engaging, balanced mechanic.<\/p><\/div>\n

Now, here\u2019s the thing that\u2019s kind of funny: technically, training doesn\u2019t take any time. You just go to a trainer, go into conversation, and click to get trained a point. You then leave conversation and your skill goes up. In-game, no time has passed. Basically, my character has just learned everything there is to know about using light armor in 5 or 6 seconds. It\u2019s kind of like the Matrix, except stupid.<\/p>\n

Cahmel: I know Unarmed.<\/p>\n

Crassius: Show me. <\/em><\/p>\n

Cahmel:…oh-kay, I don’t remember that sounding so creepy when Morpheus said it.<\/p>\n

Crassius: That’s the magic of Uncle Crassy, puddikins.<\/p>\n

Despite this marathon cramming session\/training montage, I\u2019m still not good enough to get jobs from the creepy man. Luckily for me, the next logical quest-person is only a short walk away. Unluckily for me, that means I\u2019m stuck in this goddamn city for another half-dozen missions. Whatever, I\u2019m gone, Crassy. Don\u2019t leer at anyone I wouldn\u2019t leer at.<\/p>\n

My next boss is Edryno Arethi, a woman who lives in a tiny office\/dwelling downstairs. When I get there, I get the fairly warm greeting I\u2019m now used to getting from my peers. Er. Just so it\u2019s clear, that\u2019s actually not sarcastic, there. Hlaalu employees are genuinely friendly to me at this point. I guess my reputation as a bribe-briber, letter-deliverer, and bug-squasher precede me in my business dealings.\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\n
\n
I’m-a call her Drano. Like, the liquid plumber. I’m SO GOOD at nicknames, you don’t even know. <\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n<\/div>\n

Drano doesn\u2019t look terribly busy, but apparently she has something damn important to attend to, because she gives me a quest to deliver a package to one of her colleagues in the Hlaalu treasury. For those of you keeping score, these offices are located exactly across the hall. Like, 50 feet away. She could probably crumple the package up and lob it outside his doorstep. But no<\/em>, she needs a professional <\/em>to transport it for her. I\u2019m so glad I took so many classes in Light Armor, guys. It\u2019s nice to know that if I get a papercut on my way, I\u2019ll be able to roll with it or something. I dunno.<\/p>\n

Now, I know what you\u2019re thinking: sealed package, huh? Treasury, huh? Haven\u2019t I seen this quest before in something a little shadier?<\/em> Well, you can put away your mithril-foil hats\u2014this seems pretty on the level. Firstly, she\u2019s on the same floor as this guy, so we can infer that they have some sort of casual working relationship. Secondly, I\u2019m bringing this to the actual head guy, so if there is some sort of corruption at that level it\u2019s really not my problem. Thirdly, you\u2019d have to be pretty friggin\u2019 brazen to start scamming the treasury not a day after someone gets sent up the river for scamming the treasury.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I deliver the package and get a whole 50 drakes<\/em> for my troubles. Wow, that\u2019s a whole half of a Bastard Tax!<\/p>\n

Next quest\u2026lookee there, seems have to find some guy and collect some debts from him. Know what, screw that action. I\u2019m sure it\u2019d be a wild and whimsical romp beyond the telling of it, but I\u2019m going to make an executive in-character decision and pay the debt myself\u2026all 800 drakes of it. On the plus side, since I \u201crecovered\u201d the \u201cdebt money\u201d, I get to keep half of it.<\/p>\n

Alright next quest. Yadda yadda, flavor text, merchants ambushed\u2026they need bodyguards\u2026it is my task to\u2026<\/p>\n

Escort a merchant and protect him from bandits? Aw, seriously? You\u2019re, like, you\u2019re breaking my streak<\/em>, man. It\u2019s been like five solid in-game days since I\u2019ve had to hold some NPC\u2019s hand and escort them across the street, carefully steering them around geography and praying they won\u2019t choke on their own tongues. It was probably the best 5 days of my life.<\/p>\n

Whatever, I\u2019ll mange. Where am I taking them to? Pelegiad. Oh, okay, small town. Don\u2019t think there\u2019s any fast transport there, so we\u2019ll have to\u2026waaaaait a second.<\/p>\n

Pelegiad. Pe-le-gi-ad. That\u2019s\u2026why is that so familiar?<\/p>\n

Oh god.<\/p>\n

Sweet albatross gumbo, that\u2019s the town I streaked through twice.<\/em><\/p>\n

Looks like I\u2019m gonna go ahead and break that promise to never go back to Pelegiad.<\/p>\n

Again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bonus Cahmel’s a bit earlier than I originally planned, but you lot were so quick to read V&B that I figured I’d get it right out. 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