T\u2019was a fight against ghoulies, and all through the tomb<\/p>\n
The undead were stirring to bring \u2018bout my doom<\/p>\n
The skellies had teamed up, the fight was unfair<\/p>\n
From the very first moment I\u2019d walked off the stair<\/p>\n
The Hlaalu were nestled all snugly, the knobs<\/p>\n
As I scrambled about the place, doing their jobs<\/p>\n
I was starting to feel a small bit of regret,<\/p>\n
For I knew the faint praise and reward I would get<\/p>\n
But I was bound by my conscience, my job, and myself<\/p>\n
If not the desire for fame or for wealth<\/p>\n
And so, all disgruntled, I went door to door<\/p>\n
To run, and to fight, and to bleed out some more<\/p>\n
I cleaned up the trash, \u2018till I screamed with delight:<\/p>\n
\u201cOn this floor, there are no more bonedaddies to fight!\u201d<\/p>\n
That\u2019s where I left off; right before I remembered<\/p>\n
There were floors full of skellies I hadn\u2019t dismembered
\n
\nFirst I took off my armor, my sword, and my cap<\/p>\n
And I dropped down to have a medicinal nap<\/p>\n
\u201cJust a fun-filled day at the office,\u201d I quipped<\/p>\n
As I woke, filled with dread, and set off through the crypt<\/p>\n
I went through the door down, and to my great alarm<\/p>\n
There stood a black demon, a-wishing me harm<\/p>\n
An armored great fiend, so strong and so fleet<\/p>\n
That I knew in a flash that my ass would get beat<\/p>\n
But I lifted my shield, and I took a great swing<\/p>\n
(which glanced off his flesh with an audible \u201cting\u201d)<\/p>\n
He narrowed his eyes, and I stuck out my chin,<\/p>\n
And he hit me so hard that I started to spin,<\/p>\n
The damage he dealt fairly flew of the scales<\/p>\n
As he decked out the halls with my festive entrails<\/p>\n
I reloaded, and sighed, and I palm\u00e9d my face<\/p>\n
This time, I\u2019ll work on expiring with grace<\/p>\n
I went through again, and I tried a new tack<\/p>\n
I danced like a clown and I fetched him a smack<\/p>\n
I chipped off the littlest fragment of health<\/p>\n
And then I was trashed; okay, now let\u2019s try stealth<\/p>\n
I went through again, this time crouching a bit<\/p>\n
Hunched over as if I were taking a\u2026yoga class<\/p>\n
And with my new and smaller profile<\/p>\n
I had switched my approach up from brute force to guile<\/p>\n
I crept like a church-mouse, as subtle as can be<\/p>\n
A bright white commando who no-one could see<\/p>\n
Or that was the plan; I hit a small snag<\/p>\n
When he whacked me and mailed my arse home in a bag<\/p>\n
That\u2019s strike three, this sucks, and I\u2019m getting incensed<\/p>\n
There\u2019s just no approach where I won\u2019t end up flensed<\/p>\n
So maybe I\u2019ll flee past and leave him behind<\/p>\n
I try running by him, and end up clotheslined<\/p>\n
Well, that didn\u2019t work; what is there to do?<\/p>\n
It\u2019s almost like this quest requires a crew<\/p>\n
A group of professionals trained in their job<\/p>\n
And not just some fast-tracking outlander slob<\/p>\n
But what am I thinking! That just wouldn\u2019t work<\/p>\n
It\u2019d require a manager who wasn\u2019t a jerk<\/p>\n
In Hlaalu? Dream on! Such a thing is absurd<\/p>\n
The H team enjoys treating you like a turd<\/p>\n
If the mission is legal, and simple, and kind<\/p>\n
The questgiver had to be out of their mind<\/p>\n
But enough of complaining, there\u2019s dying to do<\/p>\n
Now, how do I win this? I haven\u2019t a clue<\/p>\n
I try one more time, stepping into the hall<\/p>\n
Engaging once more in this one-sided brawl<\/p>\n
He swings, and he misses, just hitting the ground<\/p>\n
His arm must be tired from smacking me \u2018round<\/p>\n
I step in, and flail, and he gives up the ghost<\/p>\n
(I pause for ten minutes to go \u2018round and boast)<\/p>\n
Alright, that was easy! This tomb is a breeze<\/p>\n
Seems I am <\/em>the cure to this undeath disease<\/p>\n I can take them all on! So, what\u2019s my next foe?<\/p>\n Hey, hold on a second, isn\u2019t that\u2014OH GOD NO<\/p>\n OH CRAP ON A WAFFLE, A BONEWALKER, RUN!<\/p>\n He soaks me with hexes and ruins my fun<\/p>\n He\u2019s easy to kill, but that win\u2019s bittersweet<\/p>\n As I check out my stats, well, I\u2019m in for a treat:<\/p>\n I\u2019ve got zero strength, \u2018cos he drained out my soul<\/p>\n And I can\u2019t even move when that stat\u2019s in the hole<\/p>\n So\u2026yeah, I can\u2019t move, not even a bit<\/p>\n I can just sort of stand here and look like a twit<\/p>\n Seems that I\u2019m stuck forever. Well, that\u2019s a delight<\/p>\n Merry Christmas to you <\/em>guys\u2026this situation bites<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" T\u2019was a fight against ghoulies, and all through the tomb The undead were stirring to bring \u2018bout my doom The skellies had teamed up, the fight was unfair From the very first moment I\u2019d...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[153,268],"tags":[26,300,151],"class_list":["post-1508","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lets-play","category-lets-play-morrowind","tag-christmas","tag-lets-play","tag-morrowind"],"yoast_head":"\n