{"id":1675,"date":"2010-02-12T01:55:52","date_gmt":"2010-02-12T09:55:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chocolatehammer.org\/?p=1675"},"modified":"2026-06-15T17:07:23","modified_gmt":"2026-06-16T01:07:23","slug":"in-a-hostile-country-the-saga-of-cahmel-lets-play-morrowind-part-35","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.chocolatehammer.org\/?p=1675","title":{"rendered":"In a Hostile Country: The Saga of Cahmel (Let’s Play Morrowind, Part 35)"},"content":{"rendered":"

When we last left our hero, he was studying the noble and delicate art of hacking things apart with a sharp bit of\u2026whatever the hell this sword is made of. I probably don\u2019t want to know. It\u2019s most likely the tibia of some jagged abomination, or a petrified length of demon stool, or something equally unsettling. Anyway, I seem to have the basics of shortswordplay down, so it\u2019s time to get back to Mournhold and see what I can do about the cabal of steampunk Sam Fishers that have, for the past week, served as a stunningly violent alarm clock.<\/p>\n

I go back to Balmora, take the Strider to Vivec, take the boat to Ebonheart, and start heading for the grand council chamber where the teleport guy is. This is a bit of a lengthy trip, which gives me plenty of time to second-guess taking it in the first place. I mean, Mournhold\u2019s a great place to visit, if you\u2019re into a place that has more assassins than citizens or your idea of a fun shopping trip consists of buying flatware, eggs, rodents, and particularly foul articles of clothing. I can\u2019t really imagine living there, though. I have to say, there\u2019s a definite temptation to just BAHAHA<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

I can't decide if his hat reminds me more of a sundial, or one of those things where you pull the cord, the doohickey spins around, and it makes an animal noise.<\/p><\/div>\n

Sorry, gets me every time.
\n
\nAnyway. There\u2019s a temptation to just blow these Dark Brotherhood guys off as irrelevant. But, then again, what else am I going to do? I\u2019m kind of between jobs, at the moment. I might look for a job here, but I\u2019m going to go out on a limb and bet the references Hlaalu gave me kind of sucked. He spent half of his time naked and the rest of it sending his own employers up the river. We never actually got the opportunity to verify this, but we assume he wasn\u2019t a team player. He was whiny, he took several weeks to do some of the missions we gave him, and his idea of a tasteful resignation letter was cold-cocking one of our liasons in the face. Files prompt reports, does not smoke.
\n<\/em>
\nOh, yeah, speaking of office violence, how\u2019s it going, Mr. Hlaalu? Just between you and me, you might want to get your face looked at. It\u2019s swollen, misshapen, and a disconcerting shade of blue-purple. Actually, never mind. I guess it\u2019s just like that all the time.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s that? You say I have to make reparations if I want to re-join your house? Alright, sounds good. How about we do lunch? I have a sandwich for you, right here.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

"Wait, thaaaat's not a sandwich. Oh, you rascal, you."<\/p><\/div>\n

Run, bribe guard, come back. The cycle that satisfies.<\/p>\n

Alright, enough screwing around, time to get back in the game. Take the teleport, end up in Mournhold, now let\u2019s\u2026<\/p>\n

Wait. Was I supposed to exit the building this way? Okay, I\u2019m going upstairs now, that can\u2019t be good. Dammit, if these buildings weren\u2019t all moss-gray and blocky, it\u2019d be easier to get around them. Where am I now?<\/p>\n

Okay, here we go. I\u2019m pretty sure this is the exit.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Uh.<\/p>\n

This is\u2026not the exit. This is the throne room. I\u2019ve just, I sort of straight wandered into the throne room.<\/p>\n

So, hi, guys. I see the king\u2019s not here\u2026? So, should I leave? You don\u2019t care? You don\u2019t care. Okay, I mean, I guess I\u2019ll just sort of\u2026hang around, then.<\/p>\n

\u2026<\/p>\n

You really don\u2019t mind me being here? You\u2019re just going to ignore me.<\/p>\n

Hm\u2026<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nCower, cretins, for a new age has dawned! The day of the hollow tyrant, of the puppet kings of the Tribunal, has passed. Long live Lord Cahmel! Yea, he shall free our souls from the bonds of servitude and our loins from the oppression of trousers. He shall rule this land with a bug-shelled fist, and his legions of\u2026of\u2026<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nRatsy. Come on, man, you\u2019re killing the moment! Get behind the throne or something. No, I don\u2019t, don\u2019t cry, I\u2019m just saying that\u2026well, when you\u2019re out here, you\u2026<\/p>\n

Okay, you know what, I\u2019m starting to get the sense I\u2019ve worn out my welcome here anyway, so I\u2019m just going to grab my pants and leave (man<\/em>, I have to say that a lot). Uh, you might want to wash this throne before Lord Helseth comes back. And if not, he might\u2014might<\/em>\u2014want to check with a healer. Maybe. I don\u2019t actually know if you can pick it up that way, but better safe than sorry.<\/p>\n

Okay, which way’s the exit? Thanks. You’re a peach.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Walked in on these two, just sort of locked in this soulful gaze. Then, five seconds after I came in, they turned around simultaneously and left. At first, I wanted to make a crude joke, but then I just felt guilty, like I'd thoughtlessly broken something beautiful.<\/p><\/div>\n

I manage to locate the proper exit, and bump into an old friend: that worthless mercenary guy.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

I'm trying to decide if Ratsy over there is delighted to see a hireling more overpriced and worthless than he, or if he's just offended at the physical reek of a guy who stands outside, shirtless, in full armor, all day, every day.<\/p><\/div>\n

How\u2019s it going, what\u2019s-your-name? Working hard, or not working at all because nobody wants to pay 250 gold to babysit an NPC?<\/p>\n

I don’t even remember what the terms of your little contract were. Refresh my memory about the rules, again?<\/p>\n

Blah blah blah, you\u2019re carrying a certain amount at all times, plus the wages I give you, I can never take more than that amount from you. I can heal you if you get in trouble, and supply you with health potions to ensure your survival. It is in my best interests to keep you well-healed at all times.<\/p>\n

Yeah, sure it is. Let me see if I\u2019ve got this straight: I pay X amount to hire you. You\u2019re carrying 2X amount of gold, in addition to an assortment of gear. So it is in my best interests not to get you killed, so you remain the sole custodian of all of that swag. And you\u2019re confident that I\u2019m going to take good care of you and your valuable cargo so that you don\u2019t die an accidental and tragic death, which would accidentally and tragically double my investment. So confident, in fact, that you’ll let ME buy the health potions.<\/p>\n

I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.<\/p>\n

Oh, one thing. I can give you gear, right? So, like, if I gave you a shirt, would you\u2026put on the shirt? Please? You would? Thanks. Here, take mine. No, I\u2019m good, trust me. Keep it.<\/p>\n

I got to ask\u2026didn\u2019t that chain mail sort of\u2026chafe?<\/p>\n

Never mind.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When we last left our hero, he was studying the noble and delicate art of hacking things apart with a sharp bit of\u2026whatever the hell this sword is made of. 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