(Steam\u2019s been a mother-hubbard lately, so I haven\u2019t managed to get CoC reinstalled quite yet. This means today\u2019s post is going to be a bit on the slim side. As soon as I\u2019ve got the gameplay wrapped up, I\u2019m just going to motor through the remainder in as few posts as possible. I mean, this series has provided ample snarking grounds, but I\u2019m frankly getting a bit sick of thinking about the damn thing. Nearing time to put this series to bed.)<\/p>\n
Last time, on Clod of Cthulhu, Jack managed to somehow end up in the freezing cold ocean waters. I guess the very short tunnel under the house led out all the way to the sea? Far enough out that a navy battleship managed to spot him and pick him up? Whatever. Point is, Jack\u2019s been miraculously saved once again. Once again, this means that everyone who\u2019s currently trying to help him will very shortly wind up dead.<\/p>\n
Oh, alright, it\u2019s not really Jack\u2019s fault this time. The ship is heading out to\u2026jeez, this isn\u2019t really explained that well. I guess it\u2019s sailing to assault Innsmouth? Except you sort of just came from Innsmouth, and the ship takes a long time to get there, whereas you clearly didn\u2019t take that long to\u2026actually, was that manor in Innsmouth? Or was it just on the outskirts? But still, that\u2019d have to be shore of some kind, and we appear to be pretty far out to sea at the moment. You know, for such a basic plot point, it\u2019s kind of impressive how little sense this makes.<\/p>\n
Unsurprisingly, we\u2019ve been on board for all of five minutes before a bunch of fish-monsters start flopping onto the deck and eviscerating crewmen. You\u2019re allowed to participate in the battle for a short while, and then one of the crewmen with a Thompson runs low on ammo and asks you to run downstairs and get some more of it. If he had the foresight to have the Thompson on him, it probably would have been prudent to have some extra ammo in a slightly more accessible location, but I guess you\u2019re probably not allowed to scatter ammo willy-nilly in the navy. I\u2019ll let this slide.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Once you\u2019ve fetched the guy\u2019s ammo, he informs you that he sustained a bad leg wound while you were below decks, and now wants you to go fetch him an emergency medical kit from the infirmary. The *locked* infirmary, that neither of you have a key to\u2014his instructions are to \u201cfind a way in.\u201d This is how the conversation might have gone, had Jack an ounce of sense or purpose:<\/p>\n
Henson: Okay, Jack, my leg is hurt real bad! I need you to go get me a medical kit from the infirmary.<\/p>\n
Jack: Right, be right\u2014wait a minute. You want me to leave this losing battle\u2026<\/p>\n
Henson: Right.<\/p>\n
Jack: And go screw around below decks, attempting to circumvent securely-locked military-grade steel battleship doors\u2026<\/p>\n
Henson: Right.<\/p>\n
Jack: To get you a medical kit?<\/p>\n
Henson: My leg\u2019s bleeding bad!<\/p>\n
Jack: Setting aside the practicality of doing amateur surgery on the water-slicked deck of a battleship, on choppy seas, during a pitched melee\u2026you need, what? Gauze? Sutures?<\/p>\n
Henson: Yeah, so\u2026<\/p>\n
Jack: I am currently carrying sixteen of each. I have been systematically looting every first aid kit within state lines without any regard to proper owner, or even for the logistics of carrying it all. I could knit you a life-sized cloth doll of Dagon\u2019s blessed mother using only the medical supplies I\u2019ve stuffed in my breast pocket. Come to think of it, I\u2019ve got a ton of Tommy gun ammo, too\u2014don\u2019t ask me where I\u2019m carrying it, or how it survived the ocean water, but it\u2019ll work just fine should I ever get my hands on a Tommy gun.<\/p>\n
Henson: Look, I need my <\/em>medkit, okay? Now go get it, or else I\u2019ll bleed to death.<\/p>\n Jack: Then I\u2019d like to take this opportunity to call dibs on your Tommy gun.<\/p>\n But no, you go below decks to get the supplies, and if it weren\u2019t for the fishman who kindly knocks the door open from the inside you\u2019d be stuck down there forever, staring at the locked door and humming to yourself while the fishmen tear the crew apart limb from limb.<\/p>\n Once you get the crewman his medkit, the fishmen attacks die down a bit, but the seas get much, much rougher. You actually have to seize onto railings occasionally, or else you take damage from the pitching of the ship. The game does helpfully inform you (via the time-honored forum of the loading screen) that steadying yourself against things will become necessary, but it doesn\u2019t really specify what you can and can\u2019t use, which lead to a lot of confusion early on. The first few times I\u2019d throw myself against ladders and countertops, only to find out that by \u201cthings\u201d it means \u201ctwo sticky railings outside.\u201d You know, those things were outside, so they\u2019re probably drenched by now\u2014I don\u2019t know about you, but when I think of \u201cgood place to hold on while a ship pitches and tosses near vertically,\u201d I don\u2019t think, \u201cwet, smooth, round metal bar.\u201d<\/p>\n Anyway, the seas turn out to be choppy because there\u2019s baddies way up ahead casting spells at you from the beach. One of the high-ranking crew members yells for you to go take the mounted gun and fire at the cultists, denoted by blue lights on the coastline. I\u2019m really not sure why they want you <\/em>to take control of the cannon\u2014you\u2019re literally the least-qualified person on the ship to be using naval armaments\u2014but whatever, it\u2019s an FPS, the protagonist has to do everything or it\u2019s no fun.<\/p>\n This intro part doesn\u2019t make a lot of sense, but it\u2019s fast-paced, so you don\u2019t really notice first time around. Really, the best you can hope for in this game is for a sequence to not initially <\/em>irritate you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" (Steam\u2019s been a mother-hubbard lately, so I haven\u2019t managed to get CoC reinstalled quite yet. This means today\u2019s post is going to be a bit on the slim side. As soon as I\u2019ve got...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[153],"tags":[220],"class_list":["post-2057","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lets-play","tag-clod-of-cthulhu"],"yoast_head":"\n