In a Hostile Country: The Saga of Cahmel (Let’s Play Morrowind, Part 7)

Not pictured: idea where I am, how to get out of canal.

When we last left our hero, he was floundering around in the canals like an inverse fish and paying far too much for a 15-foot boat ride.

I won’t summarize the visits to the Great Houses themselves, because those were pretty much dull exercises in jogging up various flights of stairs like an OCD Rocky, finding the guy with the fanciest robe, asking him a few questions, and finding the next Canton.

What I will share is my findings. As I mentioned earlier, each House has a different focus.

Redoran, I discovered, is a House of honor. It obeys a code of the warrior that dictates they never falter in their duties, never flinch from a challenge. Warriors of Redoran uphold the virtues of a noble order, trying to bring peace and order to Morrowind.

I had the right set of skills for Redoran,  but…I dunno. It seemed a little…vanilla? Don’t get me wrong, for the obligatory set of Good Guy quests, the Redoran stuff is actually pretty thoughtful and creative. There’s a bare minimum of rescuing kittens from trees and giving them to orphans while kicking mustached wizards down flights of stairs. Still, their questline maybe isn’t as thoughtful or creative as the alternative.

Telvanni, for their part, is Redoran’s opposite. Telvanni is a House of power—you get what you grab, you grab what you can, and anyone that stands in your way is to be incinerated. Doesn’t seem bad, but there are a few problems.

For one thing, walking through their guild halls, you notice that a good percentage of their employees are Dunmer. Somehow, I get the sense this club ain’t too welcoming of outlanders. There was nothing ostentations—no separate mana fountains or anything like that— but the Telvanni offices had the sort of diversity of colors you’d find in a next-gen FPS. Running on a etch-a-sketch.

Yeah, sure, my outfit. Come on, man. It's because I'm black, isn't it? Er. As opposed to, you know. Dark blue.

Also, they’re really evil. I mean, like, really evil. Not quite Snidely-Whiplash-Tie-the-Girl-to-the-Train-Tracks evil, per se—it’s a little more creative and well-rounded than that. Still, I’m not sure I want to play a complete sociopath.

Plus Telvanni rewards magic use. Cahmel can just about pull a coin from behind a rube’s ear.

So, I had the wrong skill set and skin color for Telvanni and not enough patience for Redoran. That leaves…Hlaalu.

I didn’t find many people to talk to about Hlaalu—it’s a business, we’re business people, blah blah blah. Instead, I decided to take a brief jaunt to one of their nearby towns, a little burg named Suran.

I’m not going to describe what I found there. I’m just going to show it.

Eh, getting late--should probably find another inn to stay at. What's that on the right, there?

House of Earthly Delights? What, is this an organic produce shop or something? Well, I am running low on supplies...

I don't particularly feel like having a picture of a bunch of dancing girls in bikinis in my image directory, so here's something a little more tasteful.

To recap:

House Redoran has honor and righteous battle. Telvanni has subterfuge and treachery. Hlaalu has money and strippers.

Seriously. The first time I visited Suran, I was actually kinda shocked. I hadn’t seen anything like that place anywhere else in the realm—it was an establishment awash in red light, narcotics trade, and—of course—dancing gels. And all of this is dropped into this otherwise fairly chaste fantasy setting without comment or explanation. It’s as if the Fellowship, en route to Mordor, randomly stumbled across a Las Vegas casino. I mean, they don’t even use the dancing animation anywhere else in the game world.

(Also: if you’re using the most popular body replacement mod, which does away with the awkward fur bathing suits in favor of unadorned flesh, this building is particularly interesting.)

I had to admit, Hlaalu had a certain flair.

And so, in the end, it wasn’t much of a contest. I went back to Balmora, joined Hlaalu, and didn’t look back.

Actually, I did look back. Briefly, you understand, but long enough to remember that I’d left the pilgrim I was escorting back in Vivec.

Eh. I’m sure she can find a spot to keep out of the worst of the weather, and maybe shopkeepers will toss her scraps and stuff. I’ll get her next time I go to the city. Shouldn’t be more than a week away.

Next: my first mission for House Hlaalu.