In a Hostile Country: The Saga of Cahmel (Let’s Play Morrowind, Part 21)

Okay, I seriously meant to have some screenies for this entry, but…well, this whole session is just me running between Caldera and Vivec. It’s like looking through a slideshow of photos taken while standing in a bank queue.

When we last left our hero, he was engaging in a bit of a disappointing detective work. I mean, it’s nice to have a quest that doesn’t involve direct theft and murder, but something that requires a higher IQ than a friggin’ geranium would also be a welcome change of pace. And as luck would have it, that was exactly the kind of mission I wasn’t about to get.

So, remember that thing where the guy was conspiring to commit theft and fraud, and did so through sealed packages? And how I saw through his act in about half a picosecond, and then exposed him very publically? Well, apparently, this guy doesn’t, because he’s under the impression that this is a legitimate-sounding enterprise:

Hey, uh, turns out, some property record in the Hlaalu Archives has an error in it. Don’t ask how I know. Just a minor error, nothing to worry anyone about, more of a typo than anything. Seriously. No need to draw this to anyone’s attention. I, uh, I took the liberty of preparing a fixed document right here. I’ve sealed it. Don’t let anyone look at it, don’t look at it yourself, just replace the current land ownership deed with this one and everything will be fine forever.

Sure, I’ll get right on that.

Oh, what’s this? I appear to have tripped on the carpet directly outside your office door. And I knocked the seal right off your envelope, what an embarrassing mistake. And now I’m accidentally reading your document on purpose.

Oh, it’s transferring possession of the deed to yourself. What an amazing surprise. I did not see that one coming.

Hurf-a-durf.

So, hey, looks like I’ve got two pieces of incontrovertible evidence that this guy is trying to royally screw over his House. Doesn’t this violate the whole don’t get caught scamming us clause that’s grounds for immediate expulsion? You know, I just think it might. Time to go to the records keeper of House Hlaalu and set things straight!

I storm into his office, brandishing the offending document. He tells me that it’s very significant, and that I should “let him take care of it.” Aha! Looks like I’ve fixed that guy’s little red wagon, eh?

So, yeah, that’s sorted out.

…

Right?

Uh, I can’t help but notice that my quest hasn’t progressed at all. No new journal entries. No new conversation topics. No subtle-as-a-brick-to-the-nose hints on what to do next. Just a, “Hey, I’ll get right on that,” sort of deal from the records man. I go to see my employer, and he’s all, “Hey, did you swap the documents yet?” When I say, “no, wait, are you seriously expecting me to actually do that,” all it does is make him like me less. To the point where attempting to complete the mission prompts the, “I don’t like you enough to talk to you about that,” dialogue.

Jackass: So, did you make the absolutely on-the-level illegal file transfer?

Cahmel: Are you high? No, of course I didn’t. I’m just trying to figure out what the absolute best way to nail you for this is.

Jackass: So, did you make the absolutely on-the-level illegal file transfer?

Cahmel: I told you, no. So, will just confronting you about this work, or…?

Jackass: So, did you make the absolutely on-the-level illegal file transfer?

Cahmel: No, I didn’t–

Jackass: I’ve just decided I don’t like you. This conversation is over.

Cahmel: Grrr.

I was royally confused as to what I needed to do next. So was the game, apparently, which took this opportunity to crash.

When I’d gotten the game working again, I got the smart idea to consult Uncle Crassius. Crassius tells me “not to worry my pretty little head about it,” but thankfully offers a smidge more direction than that. Basically, he says to act like I’d done the deed switch by getting the old (correct) deed from a lockbox and giving it to the questgiver.

So I go to get the document, only to find out that removing it from its box is considered stealing and is grounds for every member of Hlaalu within 50 yards to run over and beat me to the ground.

When I finally manage to pickpocket it, I return to the lying scumweasel to give it to him and complete his task, only to be greeted with “I don’t like you enough to talk to you about that.” I actually have to bribe him 100 drakes before he’ll let me finish doing him a favor.

…okay, so, like, are there any letters you need delivering?