Screenshot Debt
Due to the sluggishness of the WordPress screenshot uploader, and the problems I was having last time I did a serious Cahmel post, I haven’t had many screenshots lately. I aim to rectify that: here’s some stills to get us caught up before tomorrow’s climactic battle. They seem to be a bit on the dark side, but that’s more or less accurate–they were taken in a cave, after all.
The carcass of my beloved friend and colleague, Ratsy Q. Ratworth. He was a fine friend, possessing a quiet sense of humor and a gentle disposition--a rat who lived, who loved, to the fullest extent. He also crapped in my shoes just about every single morning, so all in all I'm calling it a wash. I'm pretty sure this screenshot shows his body being lifted up into heaven, or maybe that's just how corpses lie in pre-ragdoll game engines. Either way, rest in peace, my friend--there are no dorky backpacks beyond the veil.
Here, you can see the body of my closest friend, a man I would consider to be akin to a brother. I felt his death more keenly than...wait a second. Calvus? That was his name? Huh. Doesn't suit him much, does it? Calvus makes you think of, you know, people with an IQ higher than a piece of angel cake. Anyway, I'm sure it was some comfort to him that he fell wearing a rather nice shirt, and that he died secure in the knowledge that I'd strip it right back off his stiffening corpse and flog it to a dunmer lady who smells like cats.
Pictured: The area where you encounter the first few assassins, one enemy. Not pictured: all of his friends, relatives, and co-workers. It's worth noting that as I take this screenshot, I am standing directly on Mercenary Guy's--er, Calvus'--forehead. It gives me a good vantage point, okay? It confers a minute and questionable tactical advantage at the expense of being even mildly logical. It's what he would have wanted.
I decline Gaenor's generous offer to take my money. I actually went back for this one, so I seem to have cut him off a little quicker than I did in the LP proper--not that it makes a difference. There is quite literally no sating Gaenor. He is a ravenous screw-you engine devised by Bethesda, an inescapable trap designed to pit players of all levels and creeds against an opponent that cannot be placated and can barely be defeated. Not that I'd pull a Neville Chamberlain anyway, mind--I'm slightly more attached to my gold than my extremities. Besides, it's the principle of the thing. I don't care how tough he is, the day I kowtow to a goddamned Wood Elf is the day I seriously reconsider this whole "fighting things for money" schtick.
This screenshot is taken as I seriously reconsider this whole "fighting things for money" schtick.
Calvus? Yeah, no. I prefer Bicep. Or maybe Calves? Looks like he died by accidentally skewering his own crotch.
Wood elves. Why are the wood elves always the batsh*t ones? Glarthir, the Adoring Fan, that traitorous little bastard Maglir…and that’s just Oblivion.
Bethesda seems quite keen on making the entire playerbase hate Bosmer with a passion.
In Morrowind, there’s Gaenor and Fargoth at least.
The Bosmer-hate synchronizes quite well with Dwarf Fortress, too: They’re criticising my fortress for cutting down home-grown mushroom-trees? Drown them all! Then make totems of their skulls and bolts of their bones…
Is that all the armor you gave calvus? For shame, rutskarn. That’s llike him leaving the house that morning with paper-mache chainmail his daughter made him. In art class. ART CLASS RUTSKARN
That’s some fancy-ass armor Gaenor is rockin’ there. Why can’t you find your own armor and stoop to his level?
“Why can’t you find your own armor and stoop to his level?” -Phase
Because, no matter what, he will always be much more kick-ass than you 🙂
A link for the curious; read the last line under Walkthrough:
http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Tribunal:The_Natural
He also has well over 700 Luck.
Rustkarn is actually nearly as well-equipped as Gaenor, but at a fraction of the cost. Ebony is the #2 heavy armor, Dark Brotherhood is the #2 light armor. The problem is that Gaenor has, basically, immunity to magic and the ability to trip over his own feet and stab you in the groin. 700 luck. The cheating jerk.
Oh, and he regenerates health. Beating him is…difficult.
From beggar to munchkin. He must have played a lot of Diablo in those 2 days.