In a Hostile Country: The Saga of Cahmel (Let’s Play Morrowind 11)

(Sorry if this post is a little odd/short/unfunny, but I had a bit of a nasty headache while writing it. There may be another Cahmel this week.)

When we last left our virtuous hero, he had just completed an act of badly managed espionage and was about to engage in outright theft.

House Hlaalu, it must be said, has a certain refreshing directness with which it conducts its affairs. There are no pretensions of legitimacy amongst the Hlaalu.

Imagine if you got hired by some big, household name of a company—an internship at Microsoft, for example. You report to your manager on your very first day of work, are shown where the bathrooms and important offices are, and then are given your first job: to go over to Apple’s headquarters and con them into giving you their project outlines. Now imagine that if you do this successfully, you’re asked to now steal their prototype outright, and then on to sabotage one of their factories, and you’ve got the gist of the House Hlaalu questlines.

My current job is to go to Vivec (thus breaking my 241st vow ne’er to return to that goddamn city), find a certain alchemist, and steal their prized secret blend of 11 herbs and spices. Or something. Honestly, I kind of zoned out somewhere between “steal formula” and “payment on completion”.

I consider using the Silt Strider fast travel again, but I quickly come to my senses. It is, of course, unforgivably unadventurous to use the same cheesy fast travel system once again. This in mind, I instead take the Mage’s Guild teleporter fast travel. The chief difference is that there’s a little swirl of sparks when you arrive via teleporter.

Once again, I’m given little clue where I’m headed. I know basically where my target is, in the same way that, in real life, I know my 43 library books must be basically within the nearest mile or so. Given the exceptionally helpful directions of “somewhere in that canton,” I have to painstakingly comb every winding staircase-strewn area.

So entranced am I by the thrill of the hunt that I’m genuinely surprised when I bump into an old friend.

"Well, my companion just told me he'd be right back right before he leapt off of the balcony an hour ago. I think I'll stand here for a few days and wait for him to come back."

Hey, it’s Squinty McSandbag! How has standing outside for the past week or so been treatin’ ya? You know, and I don’t meant to judge, if I was in your position, I think I would have gone inside or something. Then again, if you could walk three feet under your own power and initiative, maybe you wouldn’t have followed me into this godforsaken city to begin with. I make the mistake of talking to her; she immediately asks me if I’m ready to resume our little journey, and I just don’t have the heart to look into those big red doe eyes and tell her no. The lamprey reattached, I resume my search.

It takes me a few more minutes to find the alchemist.

The alchemist, apparently wanting to be a good sport, has left her priceless secret formula on a desk for all to see. Had I a pen and paper, I could literally have just copied the entirety of it down. However, this would not generate an easily traceable web of theft and fraud, and is thus not accepted Hlaalu procedure. I steal the documents.

Next week: holy crap, I actually decide to finish escorting that poor lady.