In a Hostile Country: The Saga of Cahmel (Let’s Play Morrowind, Part 44)
It’s Massive Essay Week, so until I turn it in Wednesday, posts will be a bit on the slim side.
When we last left our hero, he was locked in an epic battle with oh screw this.
Do you remember when Cahmel was a brave, trash-talking wrecking ball that took down anyone who got in his way and wouldn’t take any guff from fools? Me neither. That may be because of all the brain damage the past 3134 beatdowns have caused, or maybe I accidentally repressed all those memories along with the sexual harassment stuff. More likely, it’s because I’ve got the coolness factor of a middle-school math teacher, along with about half the fighting instinct and a quarter of the earning power.
Much as I’d like to take down Gaenor, I just don’t have the resources for it. In addition to decent weapons and armor, I’d need Contraesque fighting reflexes, improbable luck, the perseverance of Sisyphus, a tub of healing juice you could drown a giraffe in, and a game that wasn’t buggy beyond repair. Currently, I’ve got mediocre weapons and armor, the reflexes you’d need for a game of Dora the Explorer Drawing Pals, the luck of an Egyptian archaeologist who’s pissed off a gypsy, the perseverance of a toddler on crystal meth, a few homeopathic healing tonics that are probably more magnetic water than alchemy, and a game that was programmed by Bethesda Softworks. In other words: I’ve got a recipe for consistent, impressive failure, the kind you could sell tickets to.
So I’m not going to fight it anymore. I’m not going to fight him anymore. I’d call my stubbornness up to this point childish, except I’m pretty sure a seven-year-old girl would be more effective in this fight than I am. I’m just going to do the mature, reasoned, sensible thing and flee the city forever, never returning for any reason.
That’s right: no more Mournhold (Light, Magic, etc). I am blowing this place for good, and I am never looking back. So far the place has brought me nothing but heartache and misery—I’ve been conned into acting as decoy for an assassination attempt, I’ve witnessed the death of my greatest friend, I’ve witnessed the death of some other guy who I guess I was technically friends with or something, and now I’ve died a thousand deaths against some beggar with the mental stability of a coked-out wolverine. This town has been a year-round carnival of abuse and humiliation, and I’m getting out while I’ve still got my last shred of dignity.
Wait. No, false alarm, I lost that back when I got Crassius to promote me by taking off my doffing my quietly fashionable bug pants and doing a jig. Yeah, I think I’m actually in the negatives as far as dignity goes. Getting aced repeatedly by a Bosmer panhandler who is, in the process, denying me access to an entire district of the city? A district that would be necessary to complete the main quest? That’s elementary school bully territory. It doesn’t get more pathetic than this without direct intervention by an unsympathetic deity.
So, what now? First order of business: get back to the mainland. Second order of business: as much alcohol as logistics allows. Once those are attended to, it’s time to get back to work.
Fighters gonna fight, you see. I might be tired of this particular battle, but Cahmel can’t go more than a few days without hacking somebody’s extremities off or else he starts to get the twitches. I need to find a battle, but it has to be one that’s a proper challenge. And by that, I mean it has to be one that even I can win.
Hm…
That's a 41-post callback, motherbotherers.
Next week: Just call me The Exterminator, because that sounds a lot cooler than Professional Rodent Duelist.
I’m sure this has been addressed before, but: just how incompetent can Cahmel be? I started playing some morrowind myself, as a thiefish character instead of the a mage (the only other type I’ve played). From the sounds of it, he’s more fragile than my characters usually are. Gaenor is ridiculous sure, but unless Cahmel is still level 1 he shouldn’t have much trouble with the assassins I don’t think.
And I’m also sure you know you could just go around Gaenor instead, but that wouldn’t be funny.
Hmmm. Although the more I think about it, the more I think I’m remembering differently. I did abuse the crap out of self-enchanted items with the mage, and I’m using a ranged weapon now. And the assassins in the sewer were a lot harder to kill. Great, now I want to delete my whole comment.
But I stand by the Gaenor thing!
It is possible to circumvent Gaenor and continue the Mournhold quest line without killing him. It involves using the sewer entrance to the temple, so there might be a few goblins and liches in your way, but you have to kill the liches for a quest anyway.
Of course, I’m saying that now, after you’ve already left.
Way to go back on tracks!!!
You’ll get even with that bastard, as a werewolf, maybe?
I’ll miss Mournhold (City of Light, City of Magic). But at least now the story can progress a bit, I think we’ve all had more then enough Gaenor.
Also, at time of writing this post lacks the ‘Morrowind’ tag.
Also, re-reading In A Hostile Country 4 made me realize three things:
a) Reading the adventures of Cahmel is a sure-fire way to blow my ‘No, I’m studying, really!’-cover.
b) If you’ve really been waiting to re-use that screenshot for this long, your patience fár exceeds my own.
c) Every time I read about Cahmel, it makes me want to re-install Morrowind again. Seeing as though the last time I played Morrowind I lost three days straíght, and given the fact that I’m (ostensibly) trying to graduate, this is not particularly a good thing.
>So, what now? First order of business: get back to the mainland.
Mournhold is the mainland. Morrowind’s an island.
Actually, the island is called Vvardenfell. No, really.
Dont bother us with semantics lobot. I hope to see cahmel running aroun solstheim bitching about all the berserkers stealing his thunder. Or fitting right in…
….hmmmmm……
Berserkers are naked people with dangerous weapons and a penchant for killing anything that comes within a hundred meters. Cahmel basically is one already.
As for going around Gaenor, depends. It’s easy with a thief, they usually have good speed and can hide. Cahmel is molasses in boots. Though that may change now that he’s using a shortsword
Killing the assassins depends on your game. I usually find them eminently gankable, but that’s because I can paralyze all of them then watch my pet rat kill them if I feel like it. For a straight-up fighter, one is easy, but 3 or more can swarm you. Remember that doubling the number of enemies triples their damage output over the course of the fight.
bbot: Crap, I actually did know that. Typo.
Thats what i was implying von doom thank you for clarifying.
Screw you Mournhold! I’m going HOME!
Despite my best efforts and attempts at self-control, the Morrowind install disc is currently quitely humming away in the background.
If this is my last post here, tell my family I loved them.
Warms my heart to see someone appreciating gaming perfection. I wouldnt even be posting this, if my morrowind would quit crashing.
“I lost that back when I got Crassius to promote me by taking off my doffing my quietly fashionable bug pants and doing a jig.”
Methinks I spot a typo.
I’d get Morrowind, but I feel too lazy to click the button in the Steam Store.
I read this entry aloud to a friend. She laughed the entire time. I’m not sure whether it was at me or you. Either way, you have a new reader.
I hope she wasn’t laughing at me.
“I’m gonna build my own temple-city! With blackjack! And hookers!”
“In fact, forget the city!”
If my memory serves didn’t Cahmel once refuse to go kill rats for the fighters guild? Though I suppose that after all he’s been through it may seem like a step up…and after all the head trauma who knows if he can even remember that far back.
I notice that Bethesda [i]loves[/i] doing this with the wood elves in their series.
Gaenor of course, but also Glarthir, and both the Duke and Duchess of the Shivering Isles, as it turns out they’re listed as Bosmer in the construction set.
So it seems that Bethesda hates us all for hating the Bosmer, even though every single noteworthy example of the Bosmer is out to murder or us, or rob the clothing off our backs.
(Or both, in the case of that story with the Bosmer who trained a Dunmer noble in Archery.)
Every time I read one of the posts in this series, it makes me want to reinstall Morrowind and kick off on a binge. I’ve played Oblivion more than I care to admit, but it doesn’t seem to have the same replay appeal for me. I keep getting pushed back to the same class/style of play.
However…when I go to look for the Morrowind discs, I remember that Rutskarn has them! Might have to plop down the $20 bucks on a steam copy.
Don’t do it, Occam. It’s too late for me, but you can still escape!
It is too late for ALL OF USSSSSS
OK, I just bought Morrowind and I have a question. How can I see my character from the front? The Tab key works from the back, and just standing there makes the camera rotate very slowly, but I just want to buy some new clothes and look at them when I move. (Or be naked.)
Hold down tab. It enters a vanity mode where you can control the camera as you move.
Thanks very much, I’ve now watched my character from all angles wearing her exquisite robe while beating up a rat.